Being “one of Ted’s cornholers” finally got me to post on the fact that it’s a known gay term
Fri, Aug 8, 2008
The rapid ascension of the game of cornhole, a bastardization of horseshoes, wherein players need not even exercise the necessary muscles to throw a piece of iron, has amused me. It’s no wonder the game has taken off in the obese white lower middle class - it’s perfect for holding a beer, or a sandwich, or an entire pizza, while not exercising.
But the real reason this game has made me laugh is this.
The act of gently inserting your well lubed erect cock into your womans well rimmed and squeeky clean anus. Making sure plenty of lube has also been applied to her sphincter as well. With a gentle push, once the crown of your cock has stretched her sphincter, you allow her bung muscle to relax and then start a gradual entering of her turdcutter. Once fully in her turdcutter, you begin a slow, short pumping motion until you build up to a full length cock stabbing penetration of her dumphole. Stroking as fast as possible, while holding on to her hips until you reach the point of no return. You finish off, balls deep in her rectum. Pumping your gooey man juice deep in her crapper, coating the walls of her colon.
After I cornhole you, you won’t shit right for a week.
Yes, the word cornhole has been, for decades, perhaps centuries, a well known gay term for sodomy. Or, if you’re not too biblical about describing your ass-fucking, a well known term for getting porked in the ass.
I’ve been asked about which books may have influenced me in writing my first novel. My memory is hazy about which gay-themed novels I would have read by the time the novella was completed, but I know I’d read Edmund White’s A Boy’s Own Story and his other works. That one grabbed me because I found it at the U of C bookstore and flipped it open to a scene about “cornholing.”
Edmund White’s 1982 book is about a boy growing up gay in the 1950’s.
Kevin asks the narrator if he’s ever done what the guys in his neighborhood back home do all the time: “We all cornhole each other. You ever do that?” “Sure.” “What?” “I said sure.” “Guess you’ve outgrown that by now.” “Well, yeah, but since there aren’t any girls around…”
So when I see this headline at Lisa Renee’s place…
Last chance to be one of Ted’s cornholers in NWO
I choked myself with laughter. I guess I could be upset about a rabidly anti-gay demographic becoming lazily obsessed with a game that is perfectly, profoundly, gay in the extreme, but instead, I’m amused beyond comprehension.
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Tags: cornholing, gay, ted strickland
August 8th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Tim, I fully admit I’ve had fun with this and the previous releases related to cornhole. In part because of the thought that comes to mind for many which is not the game. When this first started, I had no idea how many people actually play the game.
Though I wasn’t quite as descriptive as you were as to the actual procedure, I stuck with Cornholio.
August 8th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
It is pretty fucking hilarious that this term is sweeping the nation as “the new bar/backyard sport,” while everyone ignores the elephants sodomizing in the corner of the room…. How can you take yourself seriously while inviting friends to come over for some great cornhole fun in the backyard???
August 8th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Well, Tim, given that cornhole is predominant in Cincinnati, I guess I can see your amusement. But for the record, pro-equality progressives play cornhole, too.
What’s even funnier is having to admit that you suck at cornhole.
I could go on.
August 8th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
…Thus my ongoing campaign to establish widespread use of the term “Maiswerfen” as an alternative for this game that is rather closely associated with the consumption of large amounts of beer and assorted pork products. Maiswerfen - for when Grandma asks what the young people are doing these days… or what democrats do at fundraisers.
August 8th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Well Cincinnati is the Queen City you know.
August 8th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Brooke, for me that was the whole point of having fun with this, sometimes we all take ourselves too seriously.
August 8th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
I attribute the rise of cornhole to the demise of jarts or yard darts. Nothing like throwing foot-long fletched steel spikes 30 yards or so. By the time I was old enough to actually have the necessary strength to throw horseshoes, all the old folks in my family were too old to play.
August 8th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
That and much to the despair of those of us who loved jarts, they are illegal now, banned due death/injury by a few unskilled jartists. A few always ruin it for the rest of us.
August 10th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
there’s always ladder golf. no wait…
http://www.nationmaster.com/encyclopedia/Ladder-ball