Get a job
Mon, Jul 7, 2008
This is nothing new, but lately, I’ve been getting a lot of folks giving me the line, “why don’t you just get a job?” There is so much wrong with this sentiment, I don’t even know where to begin, but I’ll try.
First of all, how many of you have tried to “just get a job” with a sex felony conviction? Raise your hands. None of you? Didn’t think so. I pay attention to this issue very closely, namely, the near-impossibility of convicted felons to re-enter society on anyone’s terms, let alone their own. Since every damn mistake anyone ever makes is a felony anymore, any mention of it in the media jumps out at me. Here’s what I saw in the paper this week.
In 2004, Kirk was convicted on a gun charge. He said he used to dabble in the streets, but his focus has always been on music.
“I made some bad choices, but the best one I ever made was to pursue my music,” Kirk said. “Once you get that convicted felon tag, it never goes away and you can’t get a job. That’s why a lot of dudes go back on the block.”
Now, I don’t pretend that I’m a black kid with a felony conviction, but I do have a sex felony conviction, so I think the trade off is pretty even. Bottom line - Kirk is right. You. Can’t. Get. A. Job. Period. Just because you’re out of jail doesn’t mean you’re free.
There are no job applications that forget to ask you “Have you ever been convicted of a crime?” I’m not talking about jobs for political campaigns, or law firms, or international election observation organizations, or foreign policy think tanks, or legal services companies, all of which I worked for before and after I got arrested. I’m talking about pizza joints, bars, restaurants….all of which I’ve attempted, not that it’s your business, but I know you’ll all lower the bar as far as it can go until you can say, hey! A shit job a sex felon can get! AH HA! You didn’t try hard enough! Nice try. One search of my Gmail account, which I’ve had since January of 2005, for the word “resume”, and Google stopped counting, calling the first page “1-20 of hundreds”. Another search for “cv”, international speak for “resume”…same result.
And even for the most menial of jobs, no matter how much they tell you it won’t affect your application, that’s just a plain lie. That question is there to cull the applicant pool, no more, no less. And the ones that don’t ask the question will cut you loose in a cocaine heartbeat when they find out about it, either in the interview process, or after you get the job. Trust me. It just happened to me two months ago.
And that doesn’t even count the employers who you will beg for mercy in full disclosure for months, who then hire you, and then hold your shit over your head when they want to cut your salary in half on zero notice, or else fire you on the spot. Yeah. That happened too.
I’ve had a few consulting gigs since the arrest, but they are all short term, and I never disclose the conviction on a short term gig. It ain’t worth it, and no one asks. But the gigs are getting harder to get, which brings me to my second point.
In case you haven’t noticed, this economy, especially in Ohio, especially in Cleveland, IS A PIECE OF SHIT. It’s a piece of shit for people without felony convictions. It’s a piece of shit for convicted felons who aren’t convicted of a sex felony. Those applicant pools are huge, and it ain’t hard to pull a bunch out because they checked “yes” on the conviction question. Someone came crying to me the other day about how their husband just lost their job, how hard it was gonna be for him, and then told me to go get one. Ummm…..hello?
If you really wanna know how this all feels, just look at the pic below, and imagine yourself pile-driving your head into the concrete blocks for 7 years. And to be clear to everyone out there who has a big bunch of “advice” for me, said “advice” amounting to “get a job”…not in the mood for that. Not now. Not ever. If that’s your advice, keep your Biblical indignity, and your advice, to yourself please.
Popularity: 22% [?]
July 8th, 2008 at 7:52 am
Here’s a bit from Snoop Dogg on his felonious past, from the latest issue of STOP SMILING:
Being unable to earn a paycheck must be killer, one of the basic needs of life. What does being unable to vote do to you philosophically? For someone with your sort of passion, it must be unthinkable.
July 8th, 2008 at 7:57 am
not being able to vote WAS unthinkable, which is why i made damn sure my plea deal, and my sentence, didn’t include that. in Ohio, felons are only prevented from voting during incarceration, and i never was.
so i can vote. and i do. every chance i get.
July 8th, 2008 at 9:08 am
Shalom Tim,
For me this is the great flaw in our criminal justice system: we have no provision for anyone paying their debt to society.
Here’s how I would make it work, not that anyone pays any attention to what I say: criminal records would be sealed at the end of probation and the revealing, or receipt, of a sealed criminal record would be a felony in of itself.
The probationary period would be set to capture those within the recidivism rate. Prove to society that you’re capable of rehabilitation and your record gets sealed, available only to prosecutors via a court order following a subsequent arrest indictment.
And, the state would provide employment during the probationary period.
Sure there are lots of holes here, but until we can come to grips with whether or not we believe in rehabilitation, we need to accept the absurdity of our present non-position and the personal costs it afflicts.
B’shalom,
Jeff
July 9th, 2008 at 9:03 am
Tim,
Please contact me I have a job!
July 9th, 2008 at 9:04 am
john.j@westmarket.com
July 9th, 2008 at 10:37 am
Have you considered becoming a “Power Seller” on Ebay?
The point is that money can ALWAYS be made. As a liberal democrat I wouldn’t expect you to understand that, society is here to support you. (take THAT capitalism!)
As a centrists, conservative democrat and business owner, I can tell you NOTHING would stand in the way of my making money, screw anyone that wouldn’t hire me! You have economic value even in the most Marxists, socialist regime. Everyone is able to do SOMETHING regardless of how menial the labor or how it offends our self-esteem.
I was once proud to work ($9.50/hr.)sucking out septic systems for an entire summer, I am SURE many of my co-workers had felonies….maybe some were even sex offenders. Who really cares about your internet sex problem when you are busy watching the vacuum tube for toilet paper/tampon/shit clogs? (You may now call me a shit-sucker)
I would never go so far as to suggest that you don’t work because you don’t want to work, but I might say if you don’t work you MUST have a network of people that you are leaching off of to keep you comfortable…I know of no homeless bloggers or pan handlers that have their own laptops. Sounds to me like you have it pretty good. Three hots and a cot, laptop internet access, and plenty of weed. What more could an Obama supporter ask for? lol
Do you know there are people that would KILL to live with their parents, not work and surf the internet all day?
Advice for all my friends, don’t get a job! Be a burden on society, and your loved ones, bitch and complain about your poor choices and circumstances and narrow the field for other less intelligent, less talented people.
Thanks for taking yourself out of the game, it helps people like me that can’t really compete. Darwin would be proud!
Your friend and Ebay Power Seller,
Schmennis
July 26th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
I know of at least one, registered sexual offender who works at a Convenient store.