blogger interrupted

At least Bill Ritter had the decency to take his PlunderWhoopin and just go home.  Not TheSockObama Co.!   They complain to the local paper, as follows.  I comment.

We at TheSockObama Co. have some questions to pose. What’s really going on in America? In the good ol’ fashion spirit of entrepreneurialism ; free enterprise has been censored, and TheSockObama politically plush toy has been discriminated against in the marketplace of the United States of America.

The SockObama plush toy might as well be a Black Sambo minstrelsy figure, that’s why it was discriminated against.  Just like a pointy white sheet on your head would be.  

Double standards appear to be a common thread here. It’s okay for there to be hundreds of thousands of Google sites containing references to our current president’s resemblance to a chimpanzee. However, it’s not okay to make that same association regarding our possible next president. Isn’t this the very definition of hypocrisy? We find this to be both obvious and curious in the same breath.

The current president is white, and not black.  Barack Obama is black, and not white.  Portraying a white man as a chimpanzee is meant to insinuate that the white man is a moron.  Portraying a black man as a monkey is meant to be racist.  Shutting your ass down because of that is not a double standard, it is reasoned rejection of racial stereotype.

After seven days as an e-commerce merchant, we had to close our doors today at www.thesockobama.com. Sadly, we are currently issuing refunds to all of our wonderful new Customers around the globe.

You mean the ones with the white pointy sheets on their heads?

TheSockObama is no longer scheduled to go into mass production. Nor will his cast of politically plush friends be produced, including JohnnieMcSock, his fierce political competitor that we had planned to introduce next week.

So Johnnie McSock was supposed to be fierce, but SockObama was supposed to be….what exactly?   

We are compelled to take this action, as a result of our designer/supplier conceding, seemingly due to the enormous pressure from opposers. Have the bullies won here?

The bullies are you, sir, and your bigoted product.  Reason has won.  Dumbass.

Our first and last foray into the blogging world began and ended on Tuesday June 10th. In an amateurish, clumsy attempt at marketing a time-sensitive, politically plush toy online; we came upon some sort of an election-themed website that looked promising; and we blogged our new business with a sassy lure of plush prose. We didnit know there were rules to blogging. We know now.

The only rule to blogging is truth.  However sassy your racist, bigoted “plush toy” may have been, it wasn’t sassy enough to avoid being a completely racial epithet.  Nice try, though.

There, the blogging dens of resistance quickly began their fury of emails. An electronic battery of fiery darts flowed swiftly but silently through the veins of technology.

Cute.

Feverish fingers frantically clicking coast to coast, crashing and burning our tragically naive - yet sparkling website. A steady stream of repetitive verbal eloquence graced our Customer service inbox with tasty tidbits like, eff-ewe and every other colorul expletive you could possibly imagine. We thought we had heard it all. Hey thanks. This is America, right?

I thought I’d seen it all until some jackass like you gave us a black monkey doll that’s supposed to be a presidential candidate.  

Having led a moderately quiet lifestyle until now; our social calendar suddenly filled up with vivid and creative death threats.

Death threats?  Like the ones your pointy white sheet hooded buddies would no doubt scream as they tied their shoelace around SockObama and pretended to be oh-so-American with it?

And last we heard, a posse of bloggers from back east are on their way over to conduct n how did they phrase it, a good oli fashioned KKK house burning party at David & Elizabethis. Kinda exciting stuff, but this in America?

So the KKK is coming to your house?  Just show them the doll prototype and invite them in for tea.  Trust me, it’s a recognized secret code!

On Friday the Media swooped in. Love notes with call me from newspaper publications and television personalities were left at our door. We agreed to permit two local stations to share a bit of our initial reaction on the madness of it all. We were the top news story on both networks at 9:00pm and 10:00pm.. By the way, TheSockObama story preceded the shocking and untimely death of our well loved Tim Russert of NBC. What the heck does this say about the spiritual barometer of a proclaimed to be united people? Unfortunately, this is America.

What the news of Tim Russert’s death being trumped by you says, is that you’re such a stupid jackass, your stupidity trumps the biggest news in media in 5 years.  That’s pretty stupid. 

The questions we still find perplexing are; is America really ready for change? With the number of Customers we’ve had to disappoint in our first week of business; are we saying it’s okay to take something out of the marketplace that other people want to buy? Are we now censoring one another’s liberty as Americans to freely purchase goods and services on our own terms? Is this the kind of America we want?

Yes.  This is the kind of America we want.  One where people like you can’t make a living peddling hate to other people like you.  That’s the America I want.  And frankly, no one’s stopping you from selling your hate item.  Go right ahead!  

Before we close, please note that the creators of TheSockObama are not of the Mormon faith. Kindly refrain from unkind remarks about our neighbors and friends of the Mormon faith whom we love and hold dear.

Whatever faith you hold, it isn’t one that resembles the one Jesus preached.  Or any that I’d care to hold.  But believe away!  Ahoy!   It’s America, isn’t it!?!?

We wish to thank all of our TheSockObama Co. Customers and supporters in the United States, Canada, United Kingdom and Australia. We hope to meet again soon in a new venue.

Sincerely yours,

TheSockObama Co.

Go fuck yourself.  St. Peter will be waiting for your ass in that new venue.  Just hand him your letter, I’m sure he’ll be convinced.  

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